Damn It Janet

Amelie Eccentricities

I watch Amelie today and thought it was fantastic and awesome and such a hipster artsy fartsy movie and I can’t help but love it anyway. 

The movie got me thinking about all the weird things I use to do as a kid… and I still do some of them. For example…

I use to hide my neighbor’s mail when they were mean to me. In their bushes…because I was small enough to crawl under them. I eventually got scolded by another neighbor. He was an old man..who apparently was spying on me in his house. 

I also use to steal another neighbor’s roses and flowers from their front lawn. I don’t remember why. I think I used them for a random art project. …I was a bored eight year old. 

There also were two houses on my tiny street that was for sale for the longest time. Both had overgrown backyards that looked like a forest to the tiny me. I use to sneak into the backyards and pretend to be an adventurer by burying myself in the foliage.

I didn’t have many toys growing up….so I played with puzzels. I really loved puzzels. I’d assemble them and then destroy it. I’d just do them over and over again.

I also drew on everything. Including every wall in my house.

When I got angry or bored, I’d clean. Imagine a little six year old cleaning the house…I still do that. I don’t know why, but it helps me relieve stress.

I use to like to sit inside the clothes hamper. I don’t know why…and when I grew bigger.. I didn’t out grow it. So I’d squeeze my butt into it and tumble awkwardly around. Sometimes I’d pretend I was a turtle. Yes…I was so weird.

I kept a journal where I wrote out the lyrics to my favorite songs. I’d listen to the song and instead of looking up the lyrics online or in the cd cover, I’d write it down as I listened to it. A huge waste of time…but for some reason I liked to do it.  

When I went clothes shopping with my mother, I’d hide in the racks of clothing instead of following my mother. I’d peak out and spy on the other shoppers and when they came to my rack, I’d hold as still as possible hoping they don’t find me. 

When I went to any electronics store with my dad, I’d find an empty shelf and crawl into it and hide until my dad found me. Sometimes I’d go to the camera section and turn on every single camera and play with them.

When I went to an office supply store with him, I’d sit on every single desk chair, even the ones on the tall shelves. I’d find a way to climb up to it and sit on it. My dad was always worried that I’d fall off and kill myself. When I went with him to the hardware stores like Home Depot, I’d go to the kitchen/bathroom section and turn every single sink knob. 

When I went to a department store, I’d go to the washing machine/fridge/home appliances section and play. I’d turn on all the fans, open all the fridges, washing machines, dish washers, anything that was open able, and run on all the treadmills.

When I passed by any place with one of those fake horse rides where you put in 50 cents for a ride, I’d scream and cry until my dad would let me ride it. I also liked McDonalds, not for the food. I didn’t like the food. I just wanted to play in the jungle gym….or technically, I’d liked finding holes in the playpen things, and end up under what I was actually suppose to be playing in. Apparently, I liked crawling into small sometimes dangerous places.

Amused or Irritated…

I’ve mentioned my neighbor and his 16..maybe 17 year old friends smoking pot and drinking outside my house. Also doing dumb shit…I don’t even know wether to be amused or irritated any more. 

A few hours ago I hear them gather outside and all I hear is a bunch of ridiculous sounding douche bag laughs and noises. All of a sudden I hear one of them say, “Lets get hot pot dude. you down? you down? hot pot hot pot hot pot.” I just burst out laughing…because it sounded so childish. A bunch of overprivileged teenage white boys who think they’re so gangster and hard excited to go to probably a family owned asian restaurant to eat hot pot… just ridiculous. 

They then proceeded to pile into someone’s van and sped up to 40 miles per hour down my tiny street that really only fits one car at a time. I could feel my house shaking from the rumbling…that’s how small my street is.  I was just happy I could finally work in silence.

11:30pm and they just came back from their meal. I hear the van rumbling back and screech to a halt near my window. A door slides open and all I hear is their retarded laughing and bro noises. I can’t even describe how stupid they sound. I typed up the weird things they said as they relieved themselves together. Yes, I think they all peed together because I heard the sound of streaming liquid hitting cement and sighing. I don’t think they did that on my lawn though, because they don’t exactly hangout right out my window, more like…right outside the house next door. But I really didn’t want to check out the window. Rather not see that. 

I heard stuff like: “Dude that isn’t even scary dawg. The scary part is the truth. It’s what you don’t see dawg.”

Some other guy is agreeing with him like he’s hypnotized or something, “yea dawg. yeaaaaaa.”

“haugh ha ha hugh ha you need to trip up man. you want a trip?”

Someone starts walking back to the car. I hear a loud thump. He probably walked right into the car and the alarm goes off.

“fuck man that fucking scared me. hahaha.”

Some others were shouting gibberish, probably mocking the chinese restaurant they went to. I hear more liquid hitting the ground, but more like a person is pouring out to rest of their beer out of the can. I hear the can clank on the floor and somebody kicking it. They run around causing havoc.

More retarded laughing ” hu hu hu huah hugh hugh huuuh duuuuuuuude!” and every other second I hear a “aw shit” or their disgusting boy-pretending-to-be-manly grunts and coughing…because they still can’t really smoke.

Seriously…the only people you find here in Arcadia are asians like me who stay indoors all the time studying and working, whose parents are overprotective and won’t let their kids go out past 6pm or the rich kids who are bored with too much time on their hands and goes out to party, thinking they’re on top of the world with all their money and youth. 

God damn it, now they’ve come back with girls. I can hear their ditzy voices giggling and slurring from the alcohol. They have the gross high-pitched valley girl voices. Not to mention how loud they are. I’m sensitive to sound…their voices sound like nails to a chalkboard to me. 

Okay officially irritated. Why can’t I live as a hermit in the mountains where the only noise is the sound of the wind whistling in the trees and the heartbeat of nature.  

I just had the fantastic opportunity to listen awkwardly to a nasty breakup right outside my window. Funny how people choose to scream at each other at two in the morning. Did I mention before my neighbors are crazy? Yea..I can confirm. ALL of them are crazy.